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Entertainment Actor Russell Crowe

Monthly Entertainment Column

 December 2001

 

This Product Named Russell Crowe

After reading an interview in which Crowe says he has to find some humor in the fact that he has become a product, I’ve decided to write a humorous account of this product named “Russell Crowe.”

But before I do, I would like to take this time to praise one of my favorite actors today, Russell Crowe, who, at the age of thirty six, in the year 2000, a big year for him, finally reached the status and recognition he was striving for.  After reaching his goal, he claims his movie star status has made him into a product.

Despite this consequence of fame, if young boys today became like Crowe, society would be fortunate, not necessarily if they became movie stars, but if they did the other things behind what makes Crowe appeal to his fans.  These other things include the fact he gave away all the money his band, Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts or TOFOG, made during their shows in Austin, Texas in the summer of 2000, money he did not anticipate his band was going to make.  So this extra money he gave away to charity.  Second, the fact he organized soccer games during the filming of Gladiator and Proof of Life, showed how he helped the staff relax and enjoy life a bit during filming, when the stress can hurt morale.  

Moreover, he has a determination that today’s youth can aspire to.  Furthermore, he takes the time to do what he enjoys such as singing in his band, Thirty Odd Foot Of Grunts.  So if the younger generation were like Crowe, who took his work seriously and at the same time also took the time to enjoy life, society would be very lucky.

As far as his act of giving a finger to a student during the filming of A Beautiful Mind, and his relationship with Meg Ryan, these can be explained.  Because he has proven that he is one of the great actors today, he knows how much work it takes to reach his high level of acting, and the distraction of a student’s flashing camera irritated him because he was focused on his character, his job.  It would be like someone taking pictures of that student while she was taking a final exam at the end of the semester.  Acting requires instant “acting” at a moment’s notice when the director shouts “action.”  At least that student who took the photograph has some time to think about an answer on an exam without flashing bulbs distracting her.  Try acting in front of the camera on a moment’s notice and look convincing so you don’t look like a fool.  You will understand how much mental capacity and concentration is needed to accomplish a great, convincing scene as Crowe accomplished as Maximus in a great scene in Gladiator when he saw his wife and son crucified.  For sure, if that scene didn’t work, the movie would not have worked.  Fortunately, Crowe made the emotions from this scene work.

As far as Russell Crowe’s relationship with Meg Ryan, he is not to be completely blamed.  The acts of a couple are exactly just that.  Moreover, everyone in life is looking for that special someone who he or she can relate with, and those few who do are one of the fortunate ones.  Moreover, he has admitted in an interview with Access Hollywood that the one thing missing in his life right now is that he doesn't have any kids.  So, yes, everyone is looking for love, even this individual who is a great actor.  Because of his integrity on the screen, it is safe to say that if he were to commit to a relationship, it would be for the right reasons.  When he talks about John Nash, Jr., his character in A Beautiful Mind, he also seems to be talking about himself, after admitting that he would like to have some kids.  He says, "Although he’s very confident that sooner or later he’ll find somebody that he can talk to."

So, after writing this article, and thus taking part in making Crowe a product to be written about, the following would like to look at the humorous side of “this product.”

Blame my sense of humor on my kids’ sing-along-videos that I’ve listened to, too many times.  In one of their videos is a song from the animated movie, Hercules.  In the song shown here, I’ve replaced “Hercules” with “Russell Crowe.”  If you think I’m weird in doing this, then my defense is a comedy routine in Comedy Central by Sinbad when he said something like, “Have you always wondered why your parents are weird?”  Sinbad looked at the college audience and said, “You made them that way!”  So in good humor, here is the song.

Bless my soul

Russell Crowe was on a roll

Person of the week

In every Greek opinion poll

 

What a pro

Russell Crowe could stop a show

Point him at a monster

And you’re talking S.R.O.

 

He was a no one

A zero, zero

Now he’s a honcho

He’s a hero

 

Here was a kid

With his act down pat

From zero to hero

In no time flat

Zero to hero

Just like that

 

When he smiled

The girls went wild

With oohs and aahs

And they slapped his face

On every vase, on every “vas”

 

From appearance fees

And royalties

Our Russell Crowe had cash to burn

Now nouveau riche and famous

He could tell you

What the Grecians earn

 

Say amen

There he goes again

Sweet and undefeated

And an awesome

Ten for ten

 

Folks lined up

Just to watch him flex

And this perfect package

Packed a pair of pretty pecs

 

Russell Crowe

He comes

He sees

He conquers

Honey the crowds

Were going bonkers

He showed the moxie

Brains and spunk

 

From zero to hero

A major hunk

From zero to hero

And who’d have thunk

 

Who put the glad in gladiator

Russell Crowe

Whose daring deeds are great theatre

Russell Crowe

Is he bold

No one braver

Is he sweet

Our favorite flavor

 

Russell Crowe, Russell Crowe, Russell Crowe (repeated)

 

Bless my soul

Russell Crowe was on a roll

Undefeated

Riding high

And the nicest guy

Not conceited

 

He was a nothing

Zero zero

Now he’s a honcho

He’s a hero

 

He hit the heights

At breakneck speed

From zero to hero

Russell Crowe is a hero

Now he’s a hero

Yes indeed  

 

Enjoy your day with amazing actor, Russell Crowe!

 

Start your screenwriting success now!

 

 

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